Why did I quit my job?
I joined Amazon thinking that I’ll leave after 1 year but I stayed for 3 more years after that. l graduated in 2014 and immediately joined Amazon as a Software Engineer in Hyderabad. I completed my Bachelors in Information Systems with BITS Pilani during which I interned with Amazon for 6 months in Bangalore.
A quick look back into the past
I have always had someone to make decisions for me and I found it convenient that way. Being an engineer was a safer option and a good career, so there I was. I worked really hard for my core courses, and even during my internship with Amazon. I actually had a great time learning all the practicalities from my mentor(he was just so cool). You can check his blog here. Working with him made me more interested in and curious about technology and experimenting with it.
When I joined as a full-time engineer, there were days of good work and days of not so good work, probably happens with any big company. The feeling of getting a regular salary, being able to party and go shopping whenever you want without even thinking twice was new and exciting. Although there was not enough work satisfaction, everything seemed okay when I was out with my friends spending money.
One day in a moment of fit, I applied for YIF for the liberal arts program. The program was interesting since it offered multidisciplinary courses, including arts, history, politics, and so on. I got selected and it was a great news for me, but I decided to not join the college. Why? The fees for one year was 5 lakhs then, and I thought to myself that I’ll pay whatever savings I had for the one-year diploma program and won’t be earning during that time. And then there was no guarantee that I’d be able to figure out the next steps or get a good job after that, something that I currently had – so, I stuck with Amazon 🤦🏽♀️
Fast Forward – 3 years
There were many ups and downs at work but I hung on to it mainly for two reasons:
One, regular flow of income. If the day would be bad, I would spend money and get all right. And if the day was good, I wouldn’t even think of leaving work.
Two, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. So, without a concrete plan, I considered sticking to my work to be more logical.
I won’t deny that I was also influenced by what others said.
During these three years, working in India, I must have planned more than ten times how can I leave the company and figure out what I want to do but I never could.
In 2017, after getting promoted, everyone decided to move to Seattle, US. I on the other hand again applied for YIF, got selected and didn’t join because of the same reasons as before(so I guess nothing really changed in these 3 and a half years). Since I was not joining the college and everyone was leaving for the US, I thought maybe that is the right decision for me as well.
My first day in Seattle office was 20th November 2017. While attending the standup on my first day in office, instead of listening to everyone, I only had one thought constantly running in my mind that why am I even here. At that very instant, I made a decision to leave and then started planning on when I could tell my manager. I didn’t want to immediately do that because my manager had really put in great effort for me to join his team and I didn’t want to be so selfish.
For sure the working style in the US was more comfortable from that in India but despite everything being perfect, there was something missing. I was not able to enjoy my work as much as I wanted to. So sometime in mid-February, I finally told my new manager (there was a recent change) about my plans to leave. Even though they wanted me to stay, they were very supportive of my decision 😊
Now the hidden secret, how I stuck to my decision this time
I didn’t tell a single person about my plans and gathered all the courage to tell it directly to my manager. It didn’t seem as difficult and as huge once I let it out.
26th May was my last day at work and I am really grateful for my experience with Amazon and the amazing people I met during this journey, I was happy to finally have completed the chapter and move on to the next.
Today while I experiment with different things, I am glad I took that decision and offloaded the burden I was carrying. I hope to start working full time soon, but this time it will solely be my decision and I hope to fully enjoy it.